16. Faith

CHAPTER 16

FAITH

Nephi didn’t have to wait much longer.  His son appeared at the open doorway to his hut.  With the wave of his hand, Nephi motioned for his son to step inside.  They embraced each other tenderly.

 “Hello, Father.  Are you well?”

“Neffy.  Quite, thank you, and you?”

The greeting was too polite and too formal.  They felt stiff and awkward.  This was so out of character for such an uncomfortable moment to exist between them. There were no broad smiles, hearty pats on the back, or looks of delight in their eyes as usual.  Their embrace conveyed a strange mixture of emotions; unending love underneath extreme sadness.

They sat down together.  Neither father nor son knew what to say first.

Finally, the older Nephi began, “Have you recovered from the hike up to the Eagles’ Nest?  The night spent in the sacred record vault?”

“Physically, sure.  Emotionally, not quite so much.  …Oh, father, … I feel so small and weak and so unworthy of such great trust by the Lord!   Perhaps my faith is too weak, and ….”

“I understand perfectly,” interrupted his father.  “I felt the same way when my father entrusted me with the records.  I still do to a certain extent.  Honestly, I think it’s good to feel that way.”

“I understand, father.  Still, there must be something more I should know, or something else I should do first, isn’t there?  Do I really know enough?  What else can you tell me?  I mean, I’ve had so many thoughts go through my head at the same time since going to the sacred record vault that I can’t keep them all straight.  It’s been hard to think clearly or decide what to do next.  I haven’t been able to sleep very well.”

“It’ll get better, Neffy.  It’ll get better.  You don’t need any more advice or instructions from me.  Simply follow the Spirit of the Lord at all times.  Do that, and you can’t go wrong.

“But if you’ll permit me, I would like to give you a father’s blessing before we part today.  Would that be all right with you?”

“Thank you!  I was hoping to ask you for one myself.  I’d been trying to decide how to ask you for that favor.”

“Favor?  I don’t view a father’s blessing as a favor.  Neffy, I desire to leave you my blessing.  It will be an honor and a privilege for me. 

“But first, let me share with you this letter written by your Uncle Lehi in the land northward.  A good brother, Hantuman, delivered it to me personally a few days ago.  He has a ship that will soon take needed supplies back to the land northward.  When I first met this brother, I could see why Lehi likes him so much.  Hantuman has many fine qualities.  He is someone you can trust with your life.

“Hantuman tells me that the majority of the people in the land northward have rejected Lehi’s preaching.  Those in power are persecuting anyone who expresses belief in Christ.  Despite the persecution and risks, Hantuman asked Lehi to baptize him.  He remains faithful and is willing to sacrifice whatever he can to help Lehi.

“Hantuman’s skills and experience have helped him develop a prosperous shipping business.  Timber is scarce in the land northward.  As a result, the people allow Hantuman to run his business.  As long as he continues to ship timber to the land northward, they do not persecute him.  Timber in the land northward sells at a good price.  Consequently, Hantuman has earned a considerable amount of money and owns a fine ship.  He intends to take more timber and other provisions to the land northward right away.  He is able to take people who wish to travel to the land northward as well.

“Anyway, here.  Maybe you should read this letter from Lehi for yourself.  Then we can talk about it if you want to.” 

Nephi handed his son a letter written on a rolled up piece of leather.  Young Nephi took the letter from his father, unrolled it, and began to read.

Dearest Brother Nephi,

May these words find you well and bring you cause to rejoice in remembering the tender mercies of our loving God.  If we remain faithful, He will provide a way for us to accomplish all things which are not contrary to His will.  I am asking my friend Hantuman to deliver these words to you in my place.  He is a brother prepared by the Lord and comes to us in our time of need as an angel of mercy.  He has sacrificed much for the work of the Lord and is willing to sacrifice his life to help me.  He has been my Amulek.

Hantuman is a descendant of Hagoth and has much knowledge concerning the building and sailing of ships.  His experience on the sea will help us find our way back to the land of our forefathers.  Or, perhaps I should have written that when we put our trust in God’s hands to guide us across the many waters, Hantuman’s ship and his experience will be the way that God can bless us.

Hantuman has traveled great distances while assisting people in the migration to the land northward.  He once sailed west many days from the coast of the sea west and found several small islands where a great variety of unique birds and animals never before seen are dwelling.  He believes a way can be found to the land of our forefathers beyond those islands.  His ship is an ark of refuge against the storms and the waves.  Hantuman believes that it is possible to survive for days and perhaps even many months upon the mighty waters.

When Hantuman returns with his next shipment of provisions for those of us in the land northward, I pray that you, dear brother, may be with him.  My heart will rejoice when I see you again.

I am allowed to live so that Hantuman will return with more provisions.  If provisions arrive, they promise to set me free, but they lie!  As you know, the preaching of the word of God angers the people here.  I am pained by their ongoing wickedness.  Despite my continual exhortations, they turn a deaf ear to my preachings and cries for repentance.  The threats and contentious ways of the most powerful are keeping others from listening to my words.

Except for Hantuman, few will believe in the prophecies of Christ.  The philosophy of the Nehors is more strongly accepted here than in Zarahemla.  Believers are severely persecuted and punished for their beliefs unless they deny the Christ.  People take pride in their possessions and seek greater wealth than their neighbors.  As a result, strife and hatred and envy are rampant throughout the land.  I had hoped to convey to you more pleasant news, but that is the sad state of my existence here.

Nevertheless, I rejoice that our Lord Jesus Christ has been mindful of us, and called us to His holy work.  I pray for you always, my brother in Christ.  May His infinite goodness and grace keep you through endurance of faith on His name to the end.  Amen.

Nephi finished reading the letter and groaned out loud, “So Uncle Lehi’s a hostage!?”

“I am afraid that could be true,” his father responded somewhat begrudgingly.

“Then they will kill you too, you know!  If you return with Hantuman, they will kill you too!  Lehi says as much.  They’re liars!  He doesn’t think they will set him free!  And they will kill you both!  You can’t go there with Hantuman.  They know you believe!  You won’t ever deny your testimony!  So why would you go!?”

“Neffy!  Son, calm down.  Please, let me speak.  First of all, Lehi does not say anything about kill, does he?  No!  He said, ‘they promise to set me free.’  So there.

“Besides, haven’t I already been saved by the Lord in similar situations in the past?  Yes!  That is why Lehi began his letter by mentioning to remember the tender mercies of the Lord.

“Does Lehi fear being killed?  No!  Quite the opposite.  Lehi writes with faith by noting that with Hantuman the Lord is actually providing the way for us to cross the many waters.  This is how we can reach the land of our forefathers.

“The Lord expects us to put our faith in Him.  The farmer doesn’t know for sure that he’ll eat his crop when he puts seeds in the ground.  He plants the seeds with the hope they’ll grow.  So too, I must act.  I’m leaving on the ship with Hantuman with the hope that it is the Lord’s way to make it to the land of our forefathers.

“Do I fear being killed?  No!  Lehi writes that his heart will rejoice to see me again.  Would he say that if he believed I would be killed the moment I arrived?”

Nephi could not question the faith of his father.  Inside, he already shared his father’s faith.  Nevertheless, he had to protest somehow to tell his father he would miss him.

“At the very least, you’ll be cast into prison!”  It was the best protest he could come up with.

“Been there before!”  The older Nephi knew what his son was saying even though the spoken words didn’t say it.

“And you volunteer to go there again!?”

The father and the son both had tears in their eyes.  It would be useless to protest or debate about the answers to indefinite questions.  No words were needed.  It was somehow clear that they were united in their faith and that they would have to trust in their God for all the unknowns of the future.

At length, Nephi asked his father meekly, “When does Hantuman plan to return with his ship to the land northward?”

“Soon.  Right away, actually.  Everything here in the hut is ready and…well…”

“I see.  I…” 

“Neffy, I only have two things I need you to do with the sacred records.”

“Of course, father.  Anything!”

          “First, you may write that I departed out from the land of Zarahemla, but you are forbidden to write where I am going.”

          “Why?”

          “Because the record you are to write is not to be about me, and others are ordained to write the things which are to come forth in their purity, according to the truth which is in the Lamb in the own due time of the Lord.”

          “All right.  And the second request?”

          “When the prophecy of Samuel the Lamanite is fulfilled, when the day comes that the Son of God is glorified and saints arise from the dead, I want you to remember to write in the sacred record that it was so, even as Samuel said it would be.”

          “I will remember, father.”

          “Good.  That’s it, then.”

          Nothing else needed to be said.  Only good-bye.

Father Nephi rose to his feet.  His son fell to his knees.  Nephi placed both of his hands on his son’s head and gave him a father’s blessing.

          “My dear son, Nephi.  Thou art chosen to bless thy brethren with the power of the word of God.  Thou hast charge of the plates of brass, the holy director, and all the records which have been kept sacred from the departure of Lehi out of Jerusalem, the land of our forefathers.  Many generations have passed away since Lehi’s day, and many of our fathers have looked forward with anticipation to this day and the coming of Christ.

“Thou art blessed to see the fulfillment of prophecy.  Thou shalt be blessed to call upon the Lord and He shall hear thy cries unto Him.  Thou shalt behold many mighty miracles.  Thou art blessed to see the signs, the wonders, and the manifestations of the power of God.  Thou art blessed to prosper in this land and to bring peace after times of bloodshed.  Thou art chosen to become a special witness of Christ.  The Lord will bless thee with power to establish His kingdom here among thy people.  Thou wilt be instrumental in bringing the ordinances of salvation to His children.  Thy name and thy works shall be remembered for many generations after thee.   Thou shalt have everlasting joy in the work of the ministry. 

“Thou shalt be protected from death and from the chains of hell because of thy righteous desires and thy special calling as a servant of the Holy God.  I bless thee, Nephi, with increased faith, hope, and charity towards all men.  I bless thee with the promise that we shall be together again, in the eternal day, according to the power granted the Son, in that He comes to earth to complete the will of His Father, and will save all who repent and come unto Him.

“I thank my God for thee, my dear son, and declare unto thee that nothing can separate me from my abiding love for thee.  Be strong and fear not what the adversary can do.  I bless thee to know of my undying love at all times.  In the holy name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.”

          Nephi reached down and pulled his adult son to his feet and held him tightly in his arms for a cherished moment or two.

Everything said after that was rather anticlimactic.  The unspoken understanding was that all conversation would purposefully avoid the imminent separation.  Instead of talking about the difficult future, remembering the past was easier.

The future was one question after another.  What reception would Nephi and Hantuman receive in the land northward?  Would they even be able to make it to the land northward?  What about Lehi?  Is he still all right?  If in prison, would they be able to free him?  Beyond that, what about Jerusalem?  Does it even make sense to think about Jerusalem?  How far is it?  How long could it take to get there?  Even if they do get there, would they be able to find Christ?  How would they know Him?  And return?  The future did not end.

The past had answers.  Even the seemingly unimportant things of the past had significance.  The favorite songs they sang as a family.  The games they had played with mother.  The home they had built by the lake.  The time when little Neffy was almost four years old and tried to shoot an arrow at a bird.  He missed the bird, but the arrow ended up hitting the beehive.  My, how those bees had made little Neffy aware of their displeasure!  Mother had to stay up all night that night; kept applying and re-applying a soothing ointment to lessen the pain.  The past was safer.  The past had memories with definite conclusions.

But the time for father and son to share memories eventually ran out.  Nephi realized that if he stayed any longer in his father’s house, his deepest emotions would begin to burst out in a flash flood.  In order for that not to happen, he bid his father farewell in a manner that he knew at the time was much too quick, much too casual.

“Abba, I’ll never forsake you.  I’ll wait for you to come back.  No matter how long it takes.”

Son Nephi bravely began the sad walk in the direction of his own hut.  He told himself to not look back.

Father Nephi had to let his son go.  Tears filled his eyes and left tracks down his cheeks.  He watched from the open doorway of his hut as his son departed.   At the last point, beyond hearing distance, right before his son disappeared from view where the path turned to the left, he heard his own voice lament, “Adieu, Neffy, adieu.”

          The next day, Nephi returned to his father’s hut.  He entered through the opening as usual and found everything inside clean and put away, as usual.  All the pots and cooking equipment were clean and in their usual locations.  The pervading silence was the only unusual thing.  The silence screamed loneliness.

The silence made everything else, although normal and usual, feel different.  It was so quiet.  There was hardly any wind that day, perhaps only an occasional light breeze, yet Nephi noticed the rustling of leaves outside.  He had never heard the stillness like that inside the hut before. 

          Nephi picked up the new letters written in his father’s hand and which had been placed in the middle of the table.  He saw that the one on top was for him.  Another was for his younger brother, Timothy.  Others were for extended family members.

          Alone, and in the calm and quiet of the moment, he opened his personal letter and began to read.  A few minutes later, with tear-filled eyes, he left his father’s hut and shuttered the opening with thatched palm fronds.

END OF PART 1